...now I know how Roberto Duran felt...

No mas...please - no mas.

In the span of 2 weeks:

1. $800 in repairs to my SUV
2. $400 in repairs to my commuter car
3. close to having to pay $125 for a new key for the commuter car (thankfully - the key was found in the garbage, thanks to my wonderful boyfriend)
4. the new patio umbrella I bought for $50 that I scratched together apparently blew over today and the pole snapped in half jaggedly - so it can't be repaired
5. I have to take time from work tomorrow AM because the grand Commonwealth of PA can't fathom that I honestly *am* the Excutrix/Beneficiary of my late father's will as well as the Trustee of his Trust, which makes me the owner of the old-man Buick I managed to sell for $500. I have provided certified copies of documents attesting to this fact, but no - I have to come in PERSON to the notary to sign some dopey certification that no doubt will be redundant. Of course, said notary is not open late in the evening, nor open on Saturdays, so I will have to come in at 8AM. This is not necessarily a problem, but I have a 90 minute ONE WAY commute to my job in NJ.

Add to this:

A. stress over wrapping up the 6-month probationary period at my new job
B. generalized fear I have about every aspect of my life - whether legitimate or not
C. some wonky health issues

and you have one very panicky Untouched Takeaway

I realize none of this equates to a death or a serious illness, but when you tack it on to what I've been through in the past 6 years, it become a tad over-the-top.

I'm a mess. Even Nick Lowe understands this:

...love is a battlefield...

This picture was published today with an article about budget cuts in NJ - specifically the DoC. I looked at it and then I looked at it again. And then I came back to it and looked again. I realize I'm more emotional than the average bear these days, but I see hearts.

Do you?

Cue Nick Lowe - "I Live on a Battlefield"

...picket fences and broken dreams,,,

I once loved a man who gave me (literally) a home with a white picket fence and an arbor pretty much like this one. The relationship ended cruelly and horribly, and I lost a lot of "things". The tangible "things" that I lost - for the most part - weren't that big of a deal. You can always buy more "things", and to be honest, I want *less* "things" in my life now.

The relationship ended while we were living at a 2nd home; this past weekend, I was at that residence moving the last of some garden/yard things I wanted to keep when I remembered that the arbor came with us when we moved here.

It was laying on the ground by a shed. It was cracked (it was made of real wood) and the weather of the past 2 years had turned the white paint (how carefully I painted that thing to keep it looking beautiful)gray and mottled. The gate was broken off at a hinge, and it looked so sad and forlorn. I stood and stared at it for a long time, and I thought of the dreams and wishes it had stood guard over, and how many times that gate swung open to let pass dogs and family and flowers and mundane things like groceries and mail. I cried over that arbor - and before I left it there, I carefully closed the gate one last time - being careful not to break the tenuous hold of the rusting hinges.

They say when God closes one door, another opens. Maybe my closing that gate will allow me to walk through when that other door opens.

...the dreaded introductory post...

Hmm.

I'm afraid if I write "I started this blog because my therapist thinks it would be a good idea", no one would read any further.

Actually, I don't have a therapist. Some unseen power compelled me to open this blog and it's been sitting here for about 10 days - untouched (ooh...untouched..."Untouched Takeaway"...get it? I kill me)

Anyway - I'm 48 and starting over here in the Lehigh Valley/Slate Belt area. I was laid off from my career of 10 years in January of 2009, which happened to immediately follow the termination of my 15-year relationship. After 11 hellish months of unemployment, I'm once again workin' for the man, and happy to be doing so.

The title of my blog comes from a song by my future husband, Nick Lowe (I'm kidding about the future husband thing...kinda). The lyrics kind of sum up my life for the past year. I'll be forcing the brilliance that is Nick Lowe upon you, hopefully constant reader, at pretty much every opportunity - along with some possibly pithy and hopefully not *too* histrionic text.

Now - what better way to inaugurate this blog than the song from which the blog takes it name - "Lately I've Let Things Slide" by Nick Lowe?




I'm sure there's a fancy-schmancy way to post a link to the clip, and as soon as I figure it out I'll smarten it up.