Bubbles, the water-skiing elephant- the solution to Portland PA's problem?

When my Former Life went to Hades in a smartly crafted Longaberger basket, part of my downsizing involved moving slightly over the NJ border near a small Pennsylvania town called Portland.

There *are* some pluses to Portland. It's an end (beginning?) destination for canoeists on the Delaware River. The lovely Duckloe Brothers Furniture Store (I believe they manufacture there, too). The fabulous Kelly's Ice Cream place. But other than that, Portland doesn't have much to offer. I'm not sure why.

It sits at the intersection of Routes 46 (NJ) and 611 (PA). It's near Route 94 in NJ, as well as Route 80. The location itself is beautiful; lots of acreage and lovely old homes. But the downtown is really a sad sight. I've lived here just over a year, and the Cramer's Lumber/Hardware, the Portland Market (small grocery store) and the diner have closed down. There is a post office, and a branch of PNC Bank. A small gas station and a newly opened news/lottery/tobacco place.

Recently, there was a push by the local powers-that-be to bring a Federal detention center for illegal immigrants to a large commercial parcel in the area. For (what I consider to be) good reasons, it was shot down in flames by the local residents.

The other day, it occurred to me that Portland reminded me of a old, constantly-repeated movie from the early 80s when Cinemax showed movies with people who wore clothes. "Honky Tonk Freeway" was directed by John Schlesinger of "Midnight Cowboy" fame and concerned the fictional Florida town of Ticlaw, whose claim to fame is a water-skiing elephant named Bubbles. When the state highway commission builds a freeway adjacent to the town, the mayor slips an official $10,000 to assure an offramp. However, when the freeway is built, the off-ramp doesn't materialize so the townsfolk literally paint the town pink to attract visitors. The non-fictional town of Mt Dora, FL was actually painted pink during the filming:



Perhaps Portland should give this some thought. On second thought - maybe not. It's quiet here, and people are friendly. And Bubbles would hate the winters.