...summer sheets...

I spent the last 2 hours changing my bed linens - comforter, shams, etc. - from the winter brocade (plums, mauves, cream & pale green if you're curious) to white eyelet lace.

I love the change. I love how fresh the bed looks - it makes the entire room look summery and light and pretty.

I love ironing, actually. It requires concentration, and when you're concentrating like that, you can't think about extraneous things - especially things that are painful.

The change (at least as far as bed linens are concerned) is good.


Nick Lowe tune o' the day - "People Change"

...on the pathetic-o-meter...

...I'm off the charts.

Someone spoke to me the office elevator today as I was leaving work - and I cried when I got to my car because she's about the first person there who has spoken to me (other than my boss and the small team I'm on - and they are *very* nice). The woman had a hydrangea plant in a pot and she said she was taking it home to see if it would flourish. I told her how my dad used to add lime or whatever to the hydrangea soil to make the flowers turn pink.

Do I suck or what? I used to be so outgoing and friendly; since I got laid off last year and all, I guess I've retreated more than I realized.


Overdue Nick Lowe song - "The Man That I've Become"

...Roberto Duran/No Mas update...

My wonderful boyfriend bought me a new patio umbrella. A "correct" one, as he likes to say - with a cranking mechanism. It came with strict instructions to take. it. down. when. it's. windy, dammit!

I love it (and him) so much I won't even put it up unless I'm out there.

...the Collyer Brothers had nothin' on me...

I am trying desperately to move forward.

I took a day (finally - my 6 month probationary period ended and I can take time off) today and organized my garage.

My life has taken horrific twists and turns over the past 6 years, the upshot of which is that I was left with 15 years worth of "stuff" to deal with. The emotional/mental is difficult enough, but I'm still cleaning up the physical.

My ex saved...*everything*. No - really. Business financial records from 1972. At *least* 100 extension cords. Not the little ones you use to run under furniture so the lamp on the end table works. I mean the honking great big heavy orange ones you buy at Tractor Supply. I probably have $1000 worth of extension cords - maybe more.

When we moved from our first home to the one where we were living when the relationship ended, I *begged* him to get rid of some (a lot!) of the stuff. Have a garage sale - craigslist - whatever...just get rid of it. But no - couldn't do that. Had to rent a storage unit. $150 a month for a double garage, which was actually a good deal - when we had an income of the low 6 figures.

Now he's gone, and I'm stuck with the things. I have managed to get rid of a great deal of pure crap as it is, and emptying this storage unit will finally be the end of it all. I hope. Everything I touch has a memory or an image associated with it, and it's more mentally tiring than anything.

I don't *ever* want to have "stuff" again. Ever. As much as it defies belief, I can't even work up any enthusiasm for buying clothes or shoes. To those of you who know me - this is stunning.

I count my blessings - I have a wonderful group of people who have been helping me with all of this mess. My boyfriend's brother-in-law has given so much of his time and energy to move things and dispose of trash - he is just about my hero these days. My boyfriend listens to me try to make sense of all of the emotions and for this I am very grateful.

Anyone wanna buy an extension cord? No? Howsabout some bungee cords - I got about a million of 'em!