...the Collyer Brothers had nothin' on me...

I am trying desperately to move forward.

I took a day (finally - my 6 month probationary period ended and I can take time off) today and organized my garage.

My life has taken horrific twists and turns over the past 6 years, the upshot of which is that I was left with 15 years worth of "stuff" to deal with. The emotional/mental is difficult enough, but I'm still cleaning up the physical.

My ex saved...*everything*. No - really. Business financial records from 1972. At *least* 100 extension cords. Not the little ones you use to run under furniture so the lamp on the end table works. I mean the honking great big heavy orange ones you buy at Tractor Supply. I probably have $1000 worth of extension cords - maybe more.

When we moved from our first home to the one where we were living when the relationship ended, I *begged* him to get rid of some (a lot!) of the stuff. Have a garage sale - craigslist - whatever...just get rid of it. But no - couldn't do that. Had to rent a storage unit. $150 a month for a double garage, which was actually a good deal - when we had an income of the low 6 figures.

Now he's gone, and I'm stuck with the things. I have managed to get rid of a great deal of pure crap as it is, and emptying this storage unit will finally be the end of it all. I hope. Everything I touch has a memory or an image associated with it, and it's more mentally tiring than anything.

I don't *ever* want to have "stuff" again. Ever. As much as it defies belief, I can't even work up any enthusiasm for buying clothes or shoes. To those of you who know me - this is stunning.

I count my blessings - I have a wonderful group of people who have been helping me with all of this mess. My boyfriend's brother-in-law has given so much of his time and energy to move things and dispose of trash - he is just about my hero these days. My boyfriend listens to me try to make sense of all of the emotions and for this I am very grateful.

Anyone wanna buy an extension cord? No? Howsabout some bungee cords - I got about a million of 'em!